Never Coming Home
by smolwarden
Summary: We all know what happens when the Inquisitor survives the final battle, but what happens if they don't? Drabble for Elena x Cullen. T for character death


Cullen paced along the battlements, hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. After Elena left to fight Corypheus he had tried, and failed, to focus on the piles of work he needed to do. Every time he closed his eyes, all Cullen could picture was Elena fighting alone and all the ways she could be taken from him.

"Maker, be damned!" Cullen growled through clenched teeth. He rested his hands on the raised edge and hung his head. "I shouldn't have let her go alone. I should be there to protect her."

"She's not alone. Seeker, Iron Lady, and Sparkler are up there with her. And nearly everyone else is at Haven waiting to help bring her back," Varric said as he approached.

"Except me. I'm not there and I should be. You don't understand," Cullen sighed.

"Hey, I'm here too," Varric crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. "And so are Ruffles and Nightingale. And a whole bunch of others. Elena knows you need to be here, she understands that not everyone can come with her. She can't let everyone risk their lives for her sake. And as much as some of us don't like it, she needs people here too. She needs people to come home to."

"I suppose you're right," Cullen resigned.

"Of course I am. Look, our Inquisitor is tough as nails. If anyone can defeat this guy it's her. Obsessing over it won't change anything."

With a huff Varric pushed himself off the wall.

"Well I'm gonna go see if the tavern is still open. Wanna come get a drink?"

"I would rather stay here."

"Suit yourself, Curly." Varric walked off in the direction of the tavern and Cullen lifted his head.

"Varric," Cullen called out.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"No problem," Varric said with a wave. "Just don't worry yourself to death. Elena would never forgive me."

Cullen looked up at the sky. It was grey and overcast with the edges of the clouds tinted green where the Temple once stood; a sure sign Elena was still fighting. A sign she was alive. He looked back down in the direction of Haven. He couldn't see anything, but maybe if he kept watch over her it would be enough to keep her safe. Cullen closed his eyes, a prayer ghosting over his lips, as his mind wandered to their conversation before she left.

" _Cullen what is this?" Elena laughed over the little toy house he presented to her and plucked the paper from on top of it. "I'm a little big for toys."_

" _It's the deed to my home and property in Honnleath. It became mine when my father died and I haven't done anything with it."_

" _Yes, I can see that," Elena quipped, her eyebrow lifted. "But why are you giving it to me?"_

" _Well," Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought maybe after this is over we could—I mean if you wanted to. Ah, I figured we could, um, move there and have a simple life. It wouldn't be easy, but you mentioned always wanting a quiet life."_

 _Elena howled with laughter and wiped tears from her eyes. "I'm the Inquisitor! And you're the Commander of the Inquisition's armies. A simple, quiet life isn't in exactly in the cards for us anymore."_

 _Cullen's face flushed red with embarrassment. He reached out to take the paper from her. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'll sell it or something."_

 _Elena snatched the deed away from him and clutched it to her chest. "I'm sorry, Cullen. I didn't mean it like that."_

 _She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his in a gentle kiss. Her jade eyes sparkled as she pulled away, her fingers twirling in the hair at the base of his neck._

" _You know, ever since you brought me to the lake I've wondered what your home is like," she smiled._

" _But…?"_

" _It's something to think about."_

" _What do you mean?"_

A loud crack broke Cullen from his reverie as his eyes shot open and his head snapped up to look at the sky. Bright green flashed across the clouds like lightning and a low rumble emanated from the direction of Haven. The air was still and suddenly everything was dark. Cullen clutched the wall of the battlements as his breath became ragged and bile rose in this throat. Was this it? Did she fail?

Then, just as quickly the clouds dissipated and the sky shone with the fading light of the setting sun. Cullen turned to look at the tower whereLeliana kept her birds. She sent scouts to Haven to report on the outcome. She would then signal the news using colored smoke. Cullen saw a raven fly into the rookery and held his breath as he waited for the signal. A few moments later a column of white smoke rose from Skyhold.

Victory. And the Inquisitor was alive.

Cullen rushed to the front of Skyhold to await Elena's return.

Cullen waited, proud and eager, on the landing of the stairs outside Skyhold with his fellow advisors. He couldn't wait to have his beloved in his arms again. Silently he vowed he would never let go of her again.

The horn sounded at the main gate. The Inquisitor and her traveling party had returned. Cassandra was the first one through the gates and Cullen could tell something was wrong. He took a step forward as Cassandra lifted her head and met his eyes. A small shake of her head had him running down the stairs as Leliana and Josephine choked out sobs behind him.

Cassandra blocked his path as he reached the bottom of the steps.

"Where is she?!" He shouted, eyes wild.

"Cullen," Cassandra reached out to gently touch his arm. "I don't—"

"Where. Is. She?" Cullen was nearly shaking.

Cassandra stepped to the side and motioned to where the rest of the group was now making their way over the threshold and into the courtyard of the fortress. The faces of those who entered were remorseful and most avoided Cullen's gaze. Hopeful, he watched as Elena's companions entered.

Cullen noticed some of them were carrying pieces of Elena's equipment. Blackwall had her sword, Cole was struggling to carry her breastplate, and Sera cradled her helmet in her arms as though it were a baby.

Cullen lurched forward, steps uneven, in an attempt to reach them. He was halfway to them when he saw her. She was laid out in The Iron Bull's arms as he carried her, one arm under her knees, the other supporting her head. She was stripped of her armor, clad in in the linens she wore under it to protect her skin. Her arms dangled from her side, limp and unmoving, and her hair free of its usual bun brushed Iron Bull's knee with every step. A strangled cry left Cullen's throat as Vivienne, Dorian, and Iron Bull approached him.

"What," Cullen's voice cracked. "What happened?"

"It was the Mark, dear. Corypheus did not do this," Vivienne announced with an unfamiliar gentleness in her voice.

"She defeated Corypheus," Dorian started "but mentioned feeling 'off' shortly after. It was while we were on our way back that she collapsed."

"C-collapsed. I don't understand," Cullen whispered with a shake of his head.

"During the fight the Orb was broken. It was the power inside the Orb that kept the Anchor stable. Without it the Anchor started to spread until it reached her heart and she collapsed," Dorian explained.

It was then Cullen noticed the fresh scar trailing its way up the inside of Elena's arm. It was a curving line, with many branches. It looked similar to the lightning he saw earlier. It snaked under the edge of her undershirt and he was sure if he looked at her chest he would see where it stopped right above her heart.

"I'm sorry, Cullen," Iron Bull said, holding Elena out to him.

Cullen reached out for her and took her into his arms, fighting to maintain his composure. He brushed her hair out of her face and rested his hand against her cheek. Her skin was cool and she was lighter than he remembered. Unable to contain his sobs, he fell to his knees and embraced Elena's lifeless body. Around him people offered words of comfort but he didn't hear them.

" _Well," Elena started, catching her bottom lip between her teeth._

" _What is it? If you don't want to go to Honnleath, we don't have to go. It was just a thought I had."_

 _Elena took a step back and wrapped her arms around herself._

" _It's just that we have to think about what's best for the baby. I'm not sure if raising a family out there would be the best idea. In Skyhold we have everything we could ever need. And it's not like moving will mean I'm not the Inquisitor anymore."_

 _Cullen's mouth fell open. "The bab-? When did-? How lon-?" he had so many questions and struggled to ask even one of them. "Are you sure?" he finally managed to get out._

 _Elena beamed up at him and placed her hands on the flat of her stomach. "Vivienne confirmed it this morning. I've suspected for quite some time."_

 _Cullen rushed forward and swept Elena up, spinning her around. She squealed and laughed as he planted sloppy kisses over her face._

" _Sweet Andraste, this is fantastic news!" Cullen laughed with her, setting her down gently._

" _You're not mad I didn't tell you sooner?"_

 _He squeezed her tight and rubbed his chin down her cheek. "Well now that you mention it," he teased._

" _Cullen not so tight!" She squealed again, and he released her._

" _Oh, right," he grinned sheepishly._

 _Breathless, Elena looked up at Cullen as he dipped his head down and covered her mouth with his, pulling her into a deep kiss._

 _Cullen pulled back, eyes shining, and rubbed his nose against hers._

" _You're right," he said with a nod. "Honnleath is a fine village, but at Skyhold our family will be safe. Our children will have everything they need."_

" _Are you okay with this? We have time to discuss it. I know your home is important to you and I don't want you feel like you have to give it up."_

 _Cullen cupped her face in one of his hands. "You are my home, Elena. Where you are is where I'll be. I'll come home to you."_

" _And I'll come home to you."_

Cullen wiped the tears from his face and stood, Elena's body still cradled in his arms. Without a word he walked with her into Skyhold for the last time. She would never be coming home, and after tonight he no longer had a home to go to. He leaned down and placed one last kiss on Elena's head.

"Wait for me, my love. It'll be a while, but I'll come home."


End file.
